Roast me: how to roast without being cruel

A good roast is a compliment in disguise: it shows you know someone well enough to tease them, and that you like them enough to keep it light. A bad roast is just an insult with an excuse. Here's how to stay on the right side.

The rules of a good roast

1. Roast what they chose, not what they can't change. Their fashion, their music taste, their cooking, their terrible puns: fair game. Their body, their skin, their family, their money, their health: off limits.
2. Make it specific. "You're annoying" isn't a roast. "You've said 'I'll be there in five minutes' every day since 2019 and been on time twice" is.
3. Exaggerate, don't invent. The best roasts take something true and stretch it.
4. Punch in the direction they're laughing. If they joke about it themselves, it's probably fine. If it's a sore spot, leave it.
5. Stop if it stops being funny. For them, not you.

Roasts that land

• "Your playlist has one genre: songs you heard once in a taxi."
• "You've been 'about to start the gym' longer than some people have been alive."
• "Your group chat replies come in two speeds: instant or three working days."
• "You take forty photos to post one, and it's always the first one."
• "You give the best advice and follow none of it."
• "You're the only person I know who can burn water."
• "You said 'last one' about the series four episodes ago."

They're all affectionate underneath. Someone reading them would think "they know me", not "they hate me".

When it isn't a roast any more

Anonymity can make people braver than they should be. A message stops being a roast when it:

• targets how someone looks, their background or anything they can't change;
• uses things said in private to embarrass them;
• would hurt if it came from a stranger, not a friend;
• piles on someone who's already having a hard time.

That's harassment, whatever it's called, and our terms don't allow it. Link owners can block and report anyone who crosses the line.

Running a roast on your link

If you want to be roasted, turn on the Roast me mode in Settings, under Link. A few tips:

• Set the tone. "Roast me, but keep it about my terrible taste in films" tells people where the line is.
• Use a time limit. A Drop for an hour or two makes it an event, and stops it running all week.
• Share the best ones. Posting the funniest roasts to your story, with your replies, is half the fun. See sharing a message to your story.
• Delete the mean ones without a second thought. You don't owe a cruel message an audience. Block the sender if they keep going.
• With Plus, block words you don't want to see, and messages containing them go to your Filtered folder.

If a roast hurts

It's fine to find something less funny than the sender thought. You can switch the Roast me mode off at any time, and pause your link entirely if you need a break. If something goes past teasing, read what to do about a mean message.